All About the Man with the Fro
by kee-chan
Summary: Jackie can never stop thinking about her precious Pudding Pop. She always hates and loves her scruffykins at the same time. And well, if you want to know what hell goes on through this unicorn-loving woman's mind, then I suggest you go ahead and read this. J/H.
1. Chapter 1

_Hello people of ! _

_It's been a while, I know, but you know what, I've been really busy. And yes, you've heard that a million times, but between school, work and my coaching job, there are just not enough hours in a day. I figured if there were 4 more hours in a day, I'd have enough time to write more. _

_Oh, and a another thing, I've started like 6 stories, all of which are going nowhere._

_SO, while I throw more ideas around to see which ones turn into something, I decided to make this little thing. It's like little things I'd imagine Jackie would think when she would sit and ponder about Hyde. It's not really a complete story, just drabbles of things. And well, to be honest, they're kinda like starting paragraphs of stories that didn't make it anywhere. Wahh, wahhhh, wahhhhhhhhhhhhhh._

_I would imagine myself updating this as often as I come up with crap ideas, which is a lot. So I hope you enjoy._

_And like every other person on here would say, R&R por favor!_

_Love much, Kee._

* * *

The first words that come to mind when I think of you are: bastard, stupid and cute. Why? Because you're a bastard, you're completely stupid and yet you still manage to stay cute in my eyes. I've been in love with you for a while now, and well, I don't see that changing anytime in the near future, and honestly, that kinda bugs the shit out of me sometimes. Why? Because you're a cute, stupid bastard.

* * *

When I was little, I used to dream about getting carried away on the back of a white stallion, holding on to my prince and riding away into the sunset, with romantic music in the background. Then I met you, and the biggest dream I have is being in the front seat of your Camino, driving to the mall. Which by the way, I still haven't even gotten out of you. But anyway, what I'm trying to say is that maybe I've changed slightly. I used to have extremely impossible expectations of what my ideal boyfriend should do to make me ideally happy. But now I realize that I just need someone who understands me, someone who tries to make me happy, someone who cares. But honestly, I can't even get that out of you. I'm tired of waiting around for you to do something, I'm tired of waiting for that little piece of effort.

Yes, you're Steven Hyde. You're a badass, you don't conform to the rules, you don't believe in our government. We all know what you're all about. You came from a bad home, where your Mom didn't care for you, and your Dad wasn't around. But I'm Jackie Burkhart. I'm spoiled, I don't believe in cheap shampoo, and I believe high heels are the only way to go. But you know where I come from. I came from a nice house, where my Mom was never around, and my Dad didn't stick around long enough to properly care for me. So I'm tired of you telling me that I don't know what you've been through. Yes, the circumstances are different, but I know what it's like to raise myself and what abandonment means. I went through it all. I might've had money, but it never made up for that empty feeling I always carried inside of me.

* * *

I'm scared to be with you, because I know you're nothing like what my ideal guy would be like. You're never going to say you love me, you're never going to take me out, and you're never going to write me love songs. But at the same time, I'm oh so happy being with you, because even if it's not ideal, you still do things in your own way. I know you love because of the way you look at me, I can see it in your blue eyes whenever we're alone. You don't take me out, because we're both just happy sitting with each other, even if it's me blabbering away about my day. And yes, you're never going to write me a song, because, well, that's impossible to ask of you. Yet, you manage to always have a love song playing in the background when we're hanging out. You're a complete sappy, love hungry fool. And a cheap ass. Cheap.

* * *

I was looking at our reflections through the mirror today. My hair was perfect, my make-up was perfect and my outfit was perfect. Girls are always envious of my looks, because I don't hafta try too hard. Beauty just comes natural to me. And you know what? Scruffy just comes natural to you. Crazy curly afro, some peach fuzz, your sunglasses. Hell, even the band shirts, jeans and boots. You don't hafta try hard, because you're just so laid back, and that shows in your style. It's weird, we're totally different in terms of style, and yet we look like we complete each other. I'm a complete goddess, and you're a hobo looking thing. Which, evens out to about higher middle class looking people. I can deal with that. It's hot whenever I think about getting down and dirty and sexy and not sweaty (I don't sweat) with a forbidden looking man.

* * *

_PS, if there are things you'd specifically like me to talk about here, feel free to tell me. I'd be more than happy to take that and make up something I think Jackie would say. _

_For example, what Jackie thinks about Hyde's car. Uhm, what Jackie thinks about Hyde's pinky finger ring. Why Jackie and Eric really don't get along. _

_Of course, everything I write will somehow include some zennie loving in there._

_Let's make this all interactive my lovely readers! 3 Until next time, Kee!_


	2. Chapter 2

_Didn't think I was gonna update that fast, did you? _

_I've been quite inspired by recent events, and well, I'm using it to my writing advantage._

_Forgive me if you see any mistakes here, but I couldn't help it. I wrote all of this in one sitting, without going back and reading it. I was so on fire, it's ridiculous. _

_Thank you schottzie, nannygirl and kayjay for reviewing! I really appreciate your comments!_

_Kayjay: Your last little comment makes me want to start up on of these in Hyde's perspective now, you honestly do. But thank you for everything you said. I just got out of high school, so it's kind of easy for me to write as a high schooler!_

_Nannygirl: Me and you have some history! Hahaha, I love how I can count on you to read my stories! You always leave the best things, makes me wanna write and write! I hope you got my message!_

_Schottzie: I love your username, haha. Thank you for the idea! I wrote about it. It should be the last, last one. I really had fun writing about that one. :)_

_OH, and thank you JediPrincess73 for adding this on your Story Alerts!_

_ON TO THE STORY!_  
_-Kee._

* * *

You know that creepy ring that Steven always wears with the eye and the creepy? The one he always wears on his pinky, always always always always wears? Okay, sometimes he'll take it off when he showers, but even then that's like a rare thing. If he decides to remove it, he places it next to his Old Spice deodorant on his dresser thingy that his cot is pressed up again.

Well, one time, when I was waiting for scuffykins to get out the shower, I was just laying gracefully on the cot, with my perfect hair covering Spiderman on his pillow, when I saw that the creepy thing was in arm's reach. I was curious, I'm a jewelry person. Okay, except my preferred type of jewelry would be a lot more shiny, with a lot more diamonds, emerald cut, and placed on my left ring finger. But in any case, since the stupid thing was right there, I took it. I thought it was funny, it really made laugh, because the eye in the ring was the same exact color as Steven's eyes. Why was it funny? Because his eyes are always covered by his sunglasses, and yet his third eye is right there on his pinky ring! Steven has three eyes people!

Moving on, I put the stupid ring on each of my finger, and the only one that thing fit on was my left ring finger, go figure. He better not give me this thing as my engagement ring, or I'm just going to hafta kick him in the shins with one of my pointed toe boots. Well, actually, now that I think about it, part of me, the part that really loves Steven wouldn't actually mind wearing it around right now, just so people know that Steven is mine, and no other bitchy slut can steal him. But seriously, if the man is gonna propose, emerald cut dammit!

* * *

I don't drive often, mostly because my boyfriend has a car. The El Camino given to him by the dirty hippie, for who knows why. I bet Leo doesn't even remember giving him the car, or having the car in the first place. 1967 Chevrolet El Camino, all black, chrome accessories, blahblahblah boy stuff. It's definitely pretty by my standards, always shiny and waxed and buffed and stuff like that. It's well taken care of really. It used to be all on its own, left in a stupid, dirty place, to rot. But then Steven came to rescue and took care of it.

I think of the car as if it was my Steven really. He was left by his no good, slut mother, in a worn down, dirty house, to die. BUT, fortunately for him, Mr. and Mrs. Forman took him in, and now feed him, and take care of him.

I think of myself as like the wax of the El Camino, I make it pretty and smell good, and shiny. So if anything, Steven should be thanking me. I buy him suits, ties, bolos, band shirts that he likes so much. I even bought him stuff to clean the lenses of his precious sunglasses.

I love the car like I love my Steven. And Steven loves me because I'm his car wax, and because I look good in a bikini sitting on top of the Camino.

* * *

I never appreciated Eric calling me the devil. Because devils don't look this good! I look like a frigging angel Eric Forman! I also don't like it when him and Donna say that Steven and I have a so-called "creepy, unnatural relationship," because if anyone here has one of those, it would be Fez and Pepe. And if you don't know who Pepe is, don't even ask him, because I promise you, he will definitely show it you. Ew, ew, ew, ew, ewwwwwwwww.

Back to the main subject, Eric Forman, who always manages to burn me, or you know call me devil spawn related names. I don't appreciate that coming from someone so skinny and twitchy and who's had the same haircut since like 1858. C'mon boy, stop letting your Mom cut your hair! And get some conditioner, that stuff looks like a bird's nest! BUT, what bugs me more is that Steven never tries to defend me. When Kelso hits on me, or says something dirty about me, Steven punches him. But when Eric calls me the devil, nothing. NOTHING! I'm a damsel in distress, but my stupid prince is in a zen induced coma, while the anoxeric looking dragon holding a lightsaber attacks me!

This is why I don't like Eric twitchy ass Forman, and why I don't like Steven stupid Hyde right now.

* * *

Puddin' Pop's taste in woman before me, and between me (between break-ups I mean) is frigging terrible really! Has anyone noticed that, or is that just me? In general, no other woman can compare to my utter perfection, but still, all these girls are lower than low than low can be. No offense Donna.

Donna- She's a lumberjack who preaches about woman progression in society! You know what? Maybe more people would listen to you if you'd just try to make yourself look pretty one day, I mean honestly! You know what I think? Steven had raging teenage hormones, and Donna was the closest girl with boobs. And that explains that.

Chrissy- The creepy blonde dirty looking chick with the stupid fake motorcycle thing going to New York for government, stupid nonsense. Yeah, I heard about her! Steven almost left Point Place to go to New York with that crazy bitch! My explanation? She drugged him with her crazy drugs.

Big Biker Chick- This is the girl that Steven STILLLLL went on a date with after I told him I chose him! Seriously, she's big and blonde. She's like a man. She's at least big enough to be one. And ew, what the hell is she wearing? What happened there? Puddin' was so heartbroken by our break-up, that he had to pick a complete opposite version of me to help him get through the pain. And I know you're thinking.. Oh, didn't he still go on that date with her and then to the Hub? Well, you know what? SHUT YOUR PIE HOLE!

Nurse- Whore, Slut. Nuff said. I don't want to think about that.

What am I trying to say here people? I am the shiny, new penny in the wishing well of dirty old nickels. Steven was never in his right mind with those other horrible choices. There was always some stupid reason in those mistakes. And with me, there is no mistake, because I am perfect. THE END. No more discussion about that.

* * *

_Keep feeding me ideas please!_

_R&R, reviews keep me going!_

_Until next time,_

_Kee!_


	3. Chapter 3

_Short update! I don't really have time to respond to my reviews, so I'll do that with the next update!_

_Thank you for everything though! _

_My next chapter will include Hyde/Jackie's relationship with Red, Jackie's thoughts about Hyde's tinfoil shiny burger thing, and Jackie's feelings toward sex with Hyde, which I hope to make more humorous than anything. As requested. Feel free to request more ideas :) I love doing this!_

_Okay, gotta go! My Mom's trying to steal my laptop so she can purchase a dress to wear to a wedding. Wahhh._

_Love much,_  
_Kee._

* * *

My favorite place to sit would definitely be Steven's lap. It's a nice, sturdy place to sit. Steven isn't really a wordy guy, so instead of exploding in a millions pieces because of his overwhelming feelings for me, he shows me he loves me in small gestures. I sit in his lap, and he wraps his arm around me. Or when I sit next to him, he has a hand on my thigh. He holds my hand sometimes too. I love leaning on him too.

But since I got into the subject of his lap.. Believe it or not, the kid has muscular, toned legs. I would know, I sit on them all the time! It's such a shame, no one gets to see them. Steven doesn't like shorts. Once I bought him a pair of shorts, you know, just to wear casually. I swear I didn't try to boss him into wearing them! Okay, I did. But anyway, he got so angry, he punched Michael.

For a guy who doesn't wear shorts, his legs aren't blinding white. I think he tans when no one is looking. I know what quality tanning looks like, and that's definitely it! OH, and he has like no hair there either! You would think he does, considering his ability to grow a manly, scuffy beard, but no! I wonder what he uses to remove the hair, we could definitely share secrets.

* * *

The one problem I had when I was dating Michael was that he couldn't dance if his life depended on it. He's definitely rhythm impaired. It's like watching a retarded monkey throwing poop around. It's socially unacceptable, and ugly. Don't get me wrong, Michael isn't ugly, he's pretty like me, it's his dancing is ugly. This is why our whole group doesn't go to the disco anymore, it's embarrassing, and it's not like we can't invite him. And I can't be seen with that. It's overpowering my beautiful, sexy, disco queen fever.

Thank the Lord my Steven can dance. He told me that Mrs. Forman taught him before we went to the disco the first time. He also told me that the reason he learned was because he was trying to impress Donna. That stupid lumberjack. (REMEMBER PEOPLE: Steven was a hormonal teenager and Donna was the closest girl with boobs). But in any case, because of that whole Donna thing, I got quite angry, then sad. And I used my sad, pouty face feelings to blackmail Steven into dancing with me at every appropriate occasion.

Every time I dance with Steven, I feel like time becomes still. It's just me and him dancing close to each other. It always starts with a slow, romantic song, and somehow we keep slow dancing whenever an upbeat song comes on. It's because we get so caught up in each other, we go to the pace of our love. Our undying, burning passion type of love. And I swear sometimes when we dance, the people around us seem to disappear, and I see rainbows and unicorns and a sunset behind Steven. Yeah, that's love.

* * *

_R&R!_


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